There is this process I go through when I feel really down, really awful, really angry, etc.
- Drink half a litre of water; not cold or iced water, either body temperature or hot water. There are many reasons for this, but I won’t go into them now.
- Do NOT identify what it is that is pissing you off. Do not give in to the temptation to go into the whys, wherefores, ramifications of the implications, history, histrionics or semantics. Do not give it ANY mind or emotion time. You are the master of your own thoughts and emotions. Do not dwell on what it is that is hurting you or you will never emancipate yourself from it.
- Do not try to be grateful, happy, uplifted. Do not try to be peaceful or to think your way out of your current situation by thinking happy, grateful thoughts. None of that works over the long term. You will inevitably loop back to where you were before, but you will be hating yourself for having failed.
- Come to a state of no emotion. Become physically still, if you can, and try to empty yourself of all emotion, so that there is no anger, hatred, fear, sorrow, also no sense of joy, or peace, or anything. Take a deep breath in, then out, and release all your emotions, every one.
- Try to sustain that sense of non-emotion for one breath. Try to extend it to two breaths. Then maybe three.
- Emotions and thoughts will inevitably come back. That’s what they do, and that’s a good thing. You want that! In this reset process, every time you find yourself feeling an emotion or thinking a thought, go back to breathing in, then breathing out, then going back to no emotion, and seeing if you can sustain that for 3 breaths. Basically, if you berate yourself for thinking or feeling, you are not doing this properly. What you want to achieve is a sense of always coming back, time and time again, to a space of non-emotion.
- Notice how your senses of sight and sound become much clearer, much sharper. Dwell on that. This is NOT a zoning-out process, you are not escaping to another place. You are fully present, aware and alive in the moment. You are not losing your mind, on the contrary, you are regaining it.
- Do not give this state a name. Do not, for example, think of it as: “the white space” or: “my empty space” or “nothingness” or “Peace”. Do not visualise it as a white field, or a black dot, or anything at all. Every time you approach this state of no emotion, try to be as clear as possible in your senses, in your body. Every moment is unique, don’t try to brand or name your experience.
- Focus instead on your breath. Let your facial muscles relax, your shoulders relax. The next time you speak, your voice should be deeper than normal, without tension.
- Try to do this reset any time you can, while driving, working, doing the laundry, tidying up the house, chatting to a friend. Now is a good time. Try to extend the periods of no emotion and no thinking for as long as you can. Let the experience colour your whole day, if possible, and see how differently you sleep at night.
- This is not a religious or spiritual process. This is not a manifesting technique. This is a process to get you back to your authentic self, who you really are.
- Enjoy it.
Mark Rothko, Untitled
If you have tried this process and you thought it was helpful, please comment below. If you have any questions, please get in touch.
PS: I came to use this process after reading: Your Greatest Gift – Richard Dotts. I have adapted it and paraphrased it from the original.